Isn't that how the rich stay rich?

I'm super stoked about this 3 day weekend.Thank you President's Day. Yep, 3 whole days of doin what I want. Cept for sometimes I don't really know what I want, especially when we comes to matters of the dang heart. I think I may kinda like being bitter towards everyone that has someone. I find myself mentally biting my thumb at couples. It's really hard to think they are "cute". I honestly give couples the stink eye. But is that really healthy? And why? I'm kidding. Those are useless questions. Because until that Mr. Right comes and sweeps me off my feet, I'm going to continue crossing my arms and turning up my nose at those smelly lovers that haunt the public places I venture to daily. Man, I wanna take their oooghy gooey, lovey doveyness and bottle it up. Then, hide it in my closet so no one can find it because if I can't have it, no one else should. Isn't that how the rich stay rich? *Gasp! I could be the love dealer! Kind of like a much more witty and cleaver cupid. Oh oh! Or the Robin Hood of love. THAT'S what I would do; I'd take that bottled gooshy stuff (that lovers obviously have too much of) and give it to the people that don't have any (with a return policy, of course). Well, not just give. I'd make them pay or trade something for it. Just because I feel like if that "stuff" could be marketed, there would be a large demand for it and I'm sure obtaining it would have to involve a magical spell or sumthin along those lines least. Hey! I'm seeing an opportunity to get tangible profit here. Things are looking up! So, all you lovers out there should think twice before you put that stray hair behind her ear and hide your stupid kissy wisses and small of the back touching from me if you don't want me to take it cuz I'm googleing spells and ordering jars right now.

Lonely and bored,

Chloe

We'll go by paragraphs.

My charger to my computer has been out of commission for a bit so I haven't been able to blog as much as I would like. Now that I have my charger, you guys will be glad to know that I have been taking note of my days and jotted down some interesting things to blog about. I'm going to knock them all out in one blog. This is what the note reads:

THINGS TO BLOG
*The half of a deviled egg sold at Merphy's Deli
*Hipster Hunting
*Pregnant homeless man
*My fortune cookie that was empty
*Recent nail biting
*Artificial sweetener in my coffee this morning
*How the soap that the car wash smelled better than my shampoo
*Trident gum w/ layers commercial

We'll go by paragraphs.

The whole individual half of a deviled egg being sold threw me off one day before work. While I was looking for a cheap breakfast taco one morning, I strolled into Merphy's Deli downtown on Congress. I never go in there because of how overly priced they are but I figured as desperate I was for some damn black beans, I'd give it a shot. It was a cute set up and smelled nice and when I saw that they had breakfast taco's for $2, I let out a sigh of relief. So there I was, a whole person, waiting in line to order my whole breakfast taco and I look down and they are selling half a deviled egg. Never have I ever. THEN, it pissed me off when I looked at the bottom of it to find out the price was a whole dollar. The day before I'd bought a whole dozen eggs for 99 cents (less than a whole dollar)! Anyways, the moral of this story iiiiiiiiis: Never trust a guy with hairy legs.

I have been trying to understand what a hipster is for a while now and I'm getting better at it. If you don't know what a hipster is either, then A; you yourself are a hipster or B; you better start studying now because it takes a good long time before you can accurately point your finger at a hipster. Hipsters are very questionable creatures. Many qualities make up a true hipster and when I feel I am able to undoubtedly distinguish one without fault, then, only then will I be able to take over Russia. To insure this stays in line with my future plans, I went hipster hunting.

The red head could almost be a hipster but I think hipster can only hang out with other hipsters.
I think...

Ok, So this one has a classic hipster bag and clearly doesn't care that I'm taking her picture.


This one, I totally has the hipster posture and I'm thinking the denim jacket tops it off.

These two I'm not sure. The guy is trying too hard which in fact, makes you not a hipster.
(see, it's hard!)

I think these two exemplify what I was trying to capture on my hunt.
Immediately after this picture was taken the 2 suspects were taken into custody and tortured by the Prime Minister of Narnia.

I'm pretty sure I saw a homeless man wearing a maternity belly under his clothes. I was briefly concerned.

I'm always excited to get fortune cookies. One day (at band camp) a while ago, I made all my friends open theirs first because I wanted to save the best for last. When it got to my turn, I didn't have a fortune in my cookie. I was scared.

I have started biting my nails again.

After not using artificial sweetener for 6 months, you can totally taste the difference. I had to make a new cup of coffee.

I rode past a car wash on my bike the other day. The one right on Congress and Riverside to be exact. The soap for the cars smelled so strong it almost hurt. Why on earth do you need fragrance in you car soap? Some people don't even like fragrance for their body soap. Man alive people, first half a deviled egg, now this! Straight madness. So this is what I have to say to all those people with the good smelling car exteriors: When I take over Russia and turn all of their army into my personal ninja ballerina minions, I'm coming for you. Coming for you and those damn hipsters full force. My advice to you is to invent a new drug that makes you invisible and impenetrable. Thank you bye.


And now, watch this.

I do it on purpose and I do it out of humor.

Gosh friends are important. I had some extra time today to just think about how nice it is to have incredible friends. Lately, I have been considerably reassessing the quality of the friendships I have. I have only a handful of friends that have left an enunciated tattoo on my life and I'm thankful for those few and I miss some of them a whole crap ton. :)

Yeeeeah, enough with the smushy stuff. I'm tired of people not being careful and considerate. I know some may say that I'm one of those people but the difference is I know when I'm being brash or impolite. I do it on purpose and I do it out of humor. Normally, at the end of my mean joke or rude conversation the person I'm talking with leaves laughing and possibley a bit refreshed. It's the people that arn't conscience of it that drives me NUTS! It peeves the shit out of me when people say things that are clearly understood. Like when you are running late and the person that is waiting on you says, "You need to hurry." Or something like, "It's not cool to be late." or one I just reciently heard, "This is your job." I had to bite my tounge not to say, "Oh yes, that's right, I forgot I was employeed here. Compleatly escaped my memory. Golly, thank you so much for the reminder." I'm just saying that there are somethings that are flat out obvious and are just splat out. Let's use our productive words. OOOOOhh venting. It's a beautiful thing.

And so are friends.

I just know I looked like a friggin tomato.

I had a good day at work today and I'm digging the crap out of this weather! I have such a pretty view from my apartment. I'm starting to feel more at home that's for sure, granted there is a rock band playing at all hour of the day and night and I think I just heard some chanting coming from the other building.
So After work, my friend Corina invited me to go to a poetry open mic night at a cute little coffee shop on Congress and 7th st called The Hideout. I had never been to one and I'm glad I went. My favorite were these 2 guys that did some sort of impromptu poetry rap. I can't for the life of me remember what they called themselves but they travel around the U.S. to find little coffee shops and just spat out poetry they make up in a really creative way.
They were way better than I was. Ha, yes. Corina convinced me to read a poem I wrote. I did it before it got crowded thank god. Oh man was I nervous. I can't figure out why the heck I was so dang nervous. My voice never cracked but my hands were clearly shaking and my face got so hot. I just know I looked like a friggin tomato. Good grief I was in one act play in high school and I did really well in public speaking for crying out loud. Haha I guess it's true what they say about if you don't use it, you lose it. I did it thought, which I think says a lot, and I had fun doing it.

I feel like a trash bag.

I have decided it is time to take a trip to beautiful Hamilton. I miss my Lola so much and my roommate has agreed to let me keep her here in Austin for a week or so. YES! I'm so excited. She is exactly what I need right now. I think it is funny how no matter how pissed off or down I am, just seeing a puppy or being around Lola makes it better. Blah. I feel like a trash bag right now. It's cold and yucky outside. My head hurts. My friend got hit by a car. I burned my finger last night. I don't have any fingernail polish remover. And if I get called a hippy one more time I swear I'm going to shank someone. So I think it's a good idea to run to Hamilton and pick up Lola. However, I'm not looking forward to the long ass drive. Gosh I wish I could teleport.

Way bigger than any baby's first steps.

So I just found an ad on Craig's List for a "spoonbending"class. I must say that I'm pretty impressed to know that if I want, tomorrow I can learn how to "make inanimate objects move with your intent, and how to bend cutlery!" Man alive! I never thought the day would come. AND it's only $10. Ooh, I don't know. I think I might just go by to see what it has to offer. I wonder what the hell they mean by cutlery? I guess if I could bend that, then I could probably do some really neat stuff.

http://austin.craigslist.org/cls/1410491935.html

Work today was fun. I was working right in front of the Austin Convention Center where there was an international spa convention going on. I was having a lot of fun looking at what everyone was wearing and enjoying the nice weather when all of a sudden a squirrel bolted the street and peed almost right beside me. Shocked, I tapped my friend on the shoulder and told him to look at what profound activities the squirrel was partaking in. Both equally shocked we stood and stared as the rodent finished his business. It wasn't long before we realized what we had just witnessed. So of course the evidence was immediately documented via picture phone and sent to all my friends that (I figured) had never seen squirrel pee. This was way bigger than any baby's first steps so I thought it only seemed necessary. You can thank me later.